


Bloom

by greygoo



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood and Violence, Bromance to Romance, It will be a little more graphic than what we see in the show, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22196461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greygoo/pseuds/greygoo
Summary: Yeah, we sure did have a lot of very violent and very exciting adventures, huh, Mao Mao?Oh, yeah, I remember.These are those adventures.
Relationships: Badgerclops/Mao Mao Mao
Comments: 31
Kudos: 82





	1. Well Met Pt. 1

“Canis cur!” Mao Mao shouts into the bright, starry night sky. He shouts the words as though the sheer force of his voice can blast them all the way to the moon and plow into its surface, imprinting onto it and telling- no _warning,_ the entire world against the fiend Bao Bao.

The stars in the sky twinkle in response, reminding him of the twinkle in Bao Bao’s eyes whenever they would set off on a new adventure together. His eyes narrow into slits. How dare they.

In all his years, seventeen to be exact, he has never faced a more treacherous foe. Never mind they never actually fought; a true hero knows sometimes the most painful wounds are emotional. Not that Mao Mao is emotional or anything. Not. At. All. Bao Bao is the past, two years behind him. He’s moved on with his life. Obviously.

He glares from the sky to the dirt road he’s been traveling along for half a day. It’s brown and dirty. Like Bao Bao. He growls and stomps forward.

Two years after the dastardly dog’s betrayal, two years to recover from the anguish, and now the scabbed wound has been ripped open by diseased dog teeth. All because tomorrow is the anniversary of Bao Bao’s abandonment. Well, he’ll show Bao Bao. He’ll become the greatest hero to ever live, and then Mao Mao will _arrest_ him. Ha! That will teach him. _You’re brilliant Mao Mao. Brilliant._

**_No, you’re not._ **

He watches the road for signs of danger, though the combined weight of his heroic eyelids is so great, that they keep falling and obscuring his vision. Almost like sleep. But who has time for that? Definitely not a legendary hero on a mission.

After saving a town from a corrupt creditor, Mao Mao was informed- after the parade in his honor of course, of a band of thieves staking out the road. The entire reason the creditor had been able to seize power in the town was because the thieves had disrupted a heavily used trade route. Damaging the town’s local economy and creating a desperate populace, vulnerable to the kind of tongue twisted promises a greedy con might offer.

With the creditor taken care of, he needed to remove the source of the town’s problems. If he doesn’t remove the root another weed will grow in the place of the one he sliced down.

The reason the bandits have been able to maintain a hold over such an important trade route is because between the town and the port city is a long stretch of desert. It’s undeveloped, the only sign of civilization being the dirt road going between the town. Made by the desperate towns’ folk decades ago. If not for the dirt road, the town would have fallen into ruin. Even with the creditor gone it may still if the bandits continue to scare away travelers and merchants.

He can’t stop and turn back just because the anniversary of the worst day of his life is tomorrow. And not only because a hero never turns away those in need. For a normal person, traveling between the cities takes a week. For a great hero it’s only a three-day speed walk to the next town. Thus, he only brought enough supplies for those exact three days. A hero’s journey is ever moving, never standing still, never turning back. Meaning he can’t turn back to the previous town, not even with rain clouds looming in the distance.

Wait, rain clouds?! The weather was supposed to be clear skies all week! He’s in the middle of a desert! Of all the rotten luck- argh! Mao Mao stomps a foot and constricts his abdominal muscles, coughing up a pair of binoculars. He holds them up, saliva sliding down his gloved paws as he looks into the distant sky with a deep frown pulling his face down. Definitely rain clouds. Ugh, how could he have missed them? Grumbling, Mao Mao turns the binoculars to the land, surveying the area. There should be some form of shelter somewhere…

Sand, sand, tumbleweed, sand, cactus, sand…

Wait, what’s that? Mao Mao zooms the binoculars in to better focus on a large, brown oddly textured rock sitting by the side of the road. It doesn’t look like any kind of rock Mao Mao has ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of rocks. Like most things he might even be considered an expert on rocks. And… and it moved! Ah-ha! He grins as he shoves the binoculars back down his throat. Finally, something interesting!

He's been walking for hours with nothing to do but practice reciting his many adventures for the next time, well, first time, he’s before a captive audience begging to hear the tale of the legendary hero Mao Mao.

He doesn’t run to the new object of his interest, there’s no need, but as he approaches the large something his pace definitely picks up. Could it be the dastardly fiends trying to spring a trap? A new kind of monster? A new kind of ROCK?! The possibilities are endless.

The closer he gets the larger the thing reveals itself to be, standing, or sitting, several feet taller than him. Not that it’s a very impressive feat to pull off. There’s one other thing he notices as he closes the distance between himself and the thing.

Sniffing the air, he can smell metal and sweat. It’s definitely alive, but he’s never come across whatever kind of animal it is, he doesn’t recognize the scent. Mao Mao has come across many different creatures, large and small, during his travels. This particular region isn’t exactly known for its diversity, nothing new here, so what gives?

He stands before it, both hands on his hips, eyes narrowed as he tries to figure out just what he’s looking at. Something new, exciting because it’s new, but aggravating in that it’s something he doesn’t already know. Whatever it is, it’s all brown except for a dark black space at the top his nocturnal eyes can’t penetrate. This close he can see the brown is a type of cloth, a cloak, so the black hole must be where the head is, so why can’t he see any eyes shining through?

“Can you talk?” He asks it, head tilting to the side along with the questioning lilt in his tone. Several seconds pass by without an answer and Mao Mao comes to the conclusion that it either can’t or won’t talk, and not speaking to him isn’t a crime… yet.

He circles the thing, one paw on his chin, the other on his sword hilt, just in case it makes any sudden moves- before he does! Ha! Vibrating with excitement, green eyes glinting, he reaches out to grab the brown camouflaged cloak it’s using to conceal itself and rip it away, revealing all. His gloved paw hovers over its massive… trembling form?

The thing shakes and Mao Mao suddenly feels kind of… bad? And not for the usual reasons. It’s so big, but it’s shaking. Out of fear, obviously, for much larger creatures have trembled in fear after coming face to face with Mao Mao’s greatness. This thing isn’t a monster, at least he doesn’t think so. And what kind of hero attacks a defenseless non-monster thing, alone and shivering on the side of a road plagued by muggers? How would Mao Mao feel if someone came rushing up to him and tried to rip his cape away, exposing his shameful posterior?

Why, he’d kill them. Painfully. Slowly.

Looking down at the ground he circles around it once more, stopping at what he assumes is the thing’s front, ready to do the heroic thing and not apologize, but try to help anyway.

“So, you, eh-ha,” Moa Moa struggles to think of something to say. It’s the only living non-bug thing he’s come across since leaving the last town. Maybe it’s lost, maybe it’s scared to go into a town. The cloak looks pretty old and used, the closer he inspects it. Frayed edges, faded colors, and what he first mistook for camouflage is actually just a lot, and he means _a lot_ , of stains.

Kind of like his…

“Look I get it, you’re like me, not the scared part- alone.” Wait, what is he doing? What is he _saying?_ “But you need not fear, creature!” His voice deepens with a puff of his chest. “For Mao Mao is here to save you from… loneliness?

No, that can’t be right. Why can’t he ever get this right? He’s got the heroic fighting part down, why can’t he simply master heroic declarations? Or speeches? He always either says too much or goes too far. Ugh.

**This is why Bao Bao left.**

He sighs, rubbing one of his feety-paws over a tiny rock on the ground. He watches it move glancing upwards only once to see what he _swears_ is the flash of a blue eye. But it’s gone before he can blink, and he can blink really fast. And he does, three whole times, before finally getting an idea of what he’s been trying to say this whole time. His initial instinct is to always blurt out whatever he’s thinking, but heroes think before they speak, one of the few heroic traits Mao Mao needs to improve upon.

Like father is always telling him.

“There’s uh… a town not too far south from here. Go, tell them Mao Mao sent you, that should be enough to get you food and a room for the night, no matter what you look like. The rest,” Mao Mao reached into his red sash and pulled out a fancy brown coin sack, heavy and fat with the gold he’s managed to accumulate since beginning his hero’s journey years ago. He opens the sack and the gold shines in the night, creating a yellow hue underneath his chin.

“Take this, it should be more than enough to get you a new cloak.”

He tosses the thing, the stranger, a shiny gold coin. A brown, long-clawed paw bursts out of the cloak to snatch the gold coin out of the air, then just as quickly disappears back inside the all concealing cloak.

“… Why?” The creature asks, finally speaking, his voice a soft rasp nearly drowned out by the howling wind. So it _can_ talk.

“Because I’m a hero.” Mao Mao responds.

With that, he turns from the stranger with a swish of his cape. His face grim and serious, but on the inside, he’s smiling. The moon glows bright ahead of him and with the coming storm, his cape gently billows in the wind.

Hot dog, he must look so heroic right now.

* * *

Badgerclops watches the shabby looking cat walk off and thinks if the wind blows any harder, it will carry the little fella away. Poor thing is barely standing, wobbling away, his tattered cape threatening to blow right off his tiny shoulders. Messy black fur and clear lack of personal hygiene makes Badgerclops almost feel… bad? For what he’s about to do.

The gold coin is heavy in his paw and his fist clenches around it. Heart swelling with something new, he reaches out toward Mao Mao, a symbolic gesture of his fleeting… guilt? That’s new.

“No, wait, there are bad guys that way…” His voice is soft and trails off to less than a whisper. He pulls his closed fist to his chest and sighs, then shrugs and stands. Oh well, he tried. There’s absolutely nothing else he can do. Looks like Mr. Hero is getting mugged.

Not like it’s Badgerclops’ fault, a cute little guy like him should know better than to travel alone. The world’s a dangerous place and flashing around coin like that is just asking to be mugged. The gang probably won’t even need Badgerclops’ help, the guy is so pathetic. Acting all heroic. What a loser, everyone knows heroes don’t waste their time with charity work. Tossing a stranger a coin, talking about saving him from crippling loneliness, being _nice_. Yeah…

Badgerclops pulls the cloak off and tosses it to the side, not really feeling like wearing it anymore. It makes him look decidedly not good by covering his beautiful, beefy bod up. Which should be a _crime._

Oh yeah, he’s a bad guy, so it doesn’t matter.

Badgerclops activates the communicator on his arm, bringing it to his face to tell the rest of the Thicket Thieves the good news. There’s a beep, then a boop, and he’s through. On the other side of the screen is the leader of the Thicket Thieves. Tiny Toad.

“Why, ‘ello Badgerclops. Reporting in with good news, I expect.”

The tiny little green toad is only slightly less pathetic than most tiny things because of his cybernetic enhancements. Something almost of a requirement for anyone wanting to become a big bad in any category. Town takeovers, pirating, monster breeding, bank bandits, highway robbery, the list goes on and on.

The list of all the crimes Badgerclops has commented before joining the Thicket Thieves, eyooooo.

He grins at his own little inside… amusement, cause it’s not really a joke, is it? Well, whatever, he grins and says “Really good news- I mean…” Badgerclops finishes up his report with a very convincing faux British accent. “… I spotted a sorry looking fellow headed your way. A battered kitten ‘bout ready to keel over. E’s got a weapon, but it’s just a tiny lil’ pie cutter. Nothing the Thicket Thieves can’t handle.” Evil laugh for dramatic effect, and, with a graceful bow, end scene.

Tiny Toad looks at Badgerclops with what could be called confusion, though it could also be amazement at his awesome acting skills. Probably the latter. No, definitely the latter. They know he’s not really British, right?

“Riiiight,” the toad responds. “Well, good work Badgerclops. We’ll be seeing you back at camp soon then? Seems like we might not need you for this one, though. This chap sounds right pathetic.”

Badgerclops frowns and his mood takes a sudden, unexpected downward turn. It was cool when _he_ was the one calling the wannabe hero pathetic, but to hear someone else do it… What even is this feeling?

“Yeah, pathetic.” He finishes, the gold coin clutched so hard in his paw as to almost hurt. 

* * *

The rain had come and gone, only lasting a few hours. Not nearly long enough to warrant stopping for shelter. His cape had covered his body fine as the rain poured, though it does have holes in it, and has long since lost its waterproof durability... Okay, so he got a little wet last night, so what? Water has never stopped a hero before.

… Except that one time with Aunt Niao Niao. He doesn’t like thinking about that one time.

Due to the rain, the dry heat of the desert has become unbearably muggy. Even hours after the rain has passed and the sun has risen. Mao Mao is mostly dry, mostly. The mugginess persists and sweat beads underneath his fur, making it a matted clumpy mess. Gross. The heat is almost enough to make him take off his clothes. Actually, it’s not even close. What kind of hero succumbs to the heat? What kind of hero walks around nakey? Especially when there are villains afoot.

Mao Mao growls under his breath.

 _Villains_ …

“Bao Bao!” He curses to the sky. “TRAITOROUS DOG!”

He froths at the mouth just thinking about the brutish barbarian. His fists clench angrily and what little tail he has left stands on end. Today is the day. The day that dastardly dog took Mao Mao’s tail, stole his innocence, and broke his heart. His paws shake and his eyes become all squiggly with liquid. More sweat brought on by his burning hatred for his ex-partner. Just out of his eyes this time.

“I’ll tear him APART!” Mao Mao yells, jumping and swinging his arms furiously. He lands back on the ground in an angry huff, his eyes darting from side to side, scanning the surrounding area for any baddies. Oh, they better stay in their little hidey hole of horribleness if they know what’s good for them. Mao Mao is in the mood for a fight. The slashy kind that usually results in loss of limb. Cackling to himself, he wiggles his fingers, the fur under his gloves practically itching for violence.

May his ancestors have mercy on whatever band of fiends attack him today, because Mao Mao sure won’t.

* * *

“Oh boy, he’s actually coo-coo-crazy.” Badgerclops informs the thieves standing in front of him, all waiting, hiding in their medium sized roadside cave for the little-talks-to-himself cat to come their way. His cybernetic eye zooms back in to look down at his fellow bad guys.

“Must be the heat,” Ratracer says.

Both Tiny Toad and Bullmozer nod, then continue their bickering over who could make the cat cry the most. They both agree the traveler will immediately tear up upon being told who is attacking him, so that was a non-starter. The whole thing is stupid anyway. Whoever makes the squirt cry the hardest gets to be leader next. Something Bullmozer has been chomping at the bit to be and Ratracer has no interest in.

Ugh, politics.

It doesn’t matter who’s in charge, Badgerclops is just going to do whatever he wants anyway. They couldn’t make him do anything he didn’t already want to do, even If they _tried_. He’d almost like to see it. This is probably the weakest team he’s ever been a part of. A downtime from his usual bad guy business. Or at least that’s what it was _supposed_ to be. The day he joined them; the Thicket Thieves just _had_ to pick an actually important trade route to terrorize. They just _had_ to disrupt the flow of goods from an ocean port to a wealthy trading town.

Now there’s a real chance a hero might come along and take them out. The real kind, not kittens playing dress up. Not that Badgerclops is afraid of some hero, but like, fighting heroes is a lot of work. Badgerclops didn’t become a bad guy to do work.

Earn more by doing less, that’s his motto. Also, his family’s, but whatever, just because they came up with it first doesn’t make it theirs or anything.

He didn’t have to work very hard to earn the gold coin sitting hot in one of his utility pouches. All he had to do was sit and listen as someone way worse off than him tried to help. Looking all pathetic and soft and…

“You know, maybe we could just uh… leave this one alone?” Before he can process the words, they’re out of his mouth and in the open. That’s different. That’s bad.

The bickering of his teammates trails off to leave a hollow silence in the cave. The awkwardness of it all causes Badgerclops to sweat, but it was for nothing. The cave is quickly filled with rapacious laughter, the Thicket Thieves elbowing each other in the side and wiping tears from their eyes.

“You’re a funny bloke, Badgerclops.” Bullmozer says through his wheezing laughter.

“Could ‘ardly understand ya from how not-British ya sounded, though.” Tiny Toad tuts after wiping away one final tear.

“Ya must be one good impressionist ta talk like that, Clops, for a second there I almost though ya weren’t British.” Ratracer says, grinning at him like she just gave him a compliment. “But that’s impossible, yer just like us.”

Bullmozer nods and Tiny Toad finishes with a “Here, here.”

… Do they really think he’s British?

“Yup,” Badgerclops says through a forced smile. “Just like ya.”

* * *

Where. Are. The. THIEVES?!

Are they hiding? Oh-ho-ho, not for long they’re not. Mao Mao can smell evil, taste sin in the air, see corruption from a mile away, and his tail—

HIS TAIL!

“Bao Bao, you monster!”

His breath is ragged from rage, and definitely not some kind of developing sickness from being out in the rain for several hours with no rest in over twenty-four. Heroes don’t get sick. But they get angry. Oh, do they get angry.

He’ll tear the thieves limb from limb, then he’ll leave their limbless torsos to rot in prison, unable to do anything except contemplate where they went so very wrong in life to come up against such a legendary hero as Mao Mao. They’ll make bad company for Bao Bao, the only kind he deserves, for when the dog inevitably follows them to prison. A fate almost too good for the cowardly canine. But that’s Mao Mao.

_Sometimes you’re just too good, Mao Mao._

**No, you’re not.**

“Hand over your valuables, vagrant, or the Thicket Thieves will do you up a treat.”

A British sounding threat? What? Mao Mao blinks, when did they…? He grins, they must have used the scent of rain and the mugginess that followed to hide their evil scent. It’s the only explanation that even remotely makes sense. The alternative is this band of cyborgs, with their loud clanky bodies, somehow managed to take Mao Mao, legendary hero in training, by surprise. And after he had been explicitly warned of them waiting in ambush.

Not possible. He growls, pleased with the sudden turn of events.

A toad, mole, and rat stand ahead of him in a group, all with cybernetic enhancements. Large orange arms on the mole, silver legs on the toad, and a fully body wheel suit for the rat.

The Thicket Thieves, he’s heard of them. They’re not anything special, but maybe they’ve upped their game since the creation of their first wanted poster. They must be quite skilled to dare threaten the hero Mao Mao, certainly more than their appearance and miniscule bounty would suggest. Which is great! No holding back. Mao Mao’s grin is open and wide, his sharp teeth on full display. The perfect targets to direct his misplaced ra- err, to arrest in the name of justice. Hehe, yeah.

He draws his sword from her sheath, Geraldine’s beautiful golden glow completely wasted underneath such an intense sun.

His face feels as if its splitting form how wide he’s grinning. Time to cut, and maim, and win! The tiny toad expresses regret over their lack of weapons, which does nothing to lessen Mao Mao’s craving for violence. He won’t be fooled. Their robotic parts are weapons! They’re just trying to catch him off guard, clever foes.

Joyful laughter erupts loudly from within as he lets loose, leaping into action. He lunges toward the big mole first, those arms look like they might do some damage. Maybe give him a tiny scratch. He lands in front of the fiend and with a mighty swing of his sword, hits the cyborg in the middle with the back side of the blade and sends him flying into a nearby boulder.

His grin slips slightly when the wheeled-rat charges him and is easily sent into the same boulder with one measly kick. Neither of them gets back up. That was easy. Too easy. How could they have disrupted one of the most important trade routes in the kingdom if they are so weak? It must be the leader, the toad. He must be the brawn of the operation. The power is all in the legs, just like Mao Mao. Makes sense.

He points his sword at the leader, fangs bared as he prowls predatorily toward him, a small dribble of drool sliding down his chin as he hungers for a real fight. Something to write down in the history books that will be written about the legendary Mao Mao someday.

_Pew-pew._

His ears twitch and Mao Mao pauses mid-step. That sounded like a laser blast, followed by… a scream? A scream that sounds a lot like—

“Woah, there governor, h-h-hold on a second.” The tiny toad lifts his toady-hands in a classic sign of surrender. That can’t be right, these villains are supposed to be at least a _little_ bit strong. Where’s all their power? This must be a trick. He growls, glaring at the leader, unimpressed. The worst crime of all. He’ll teach this villain not to get Mao Mao’s hopes up!

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots movement. A shudder of excitement travels down Mao Mao’s body, making his hair stand on end. The two he’d knocked into the boulder are standing, surrounding him. Ha! YES! Finally, a—

“Yes, um. RUN!” Tiny Toad shouts.

Wait, what now? The thieves take off into the desert and red colors Mao Mao’s vision. He tenses, preparing to give chase.

“Guy’s wait! Ah- what the heck is with all these rocks?”

The desperate cries of a stranger. The stranger. Causes him to stumble forward before coming to a complete stop.

“Don’t leave me here!”

Mao Mao turns sharply to see a fire. Man, how did he miss that? Trapped behind the blaze is… the thing. A bear? Is that what he smelled? He’s never seen a real one before, only in books, and this one doesn’t look like any of those.

With no time to lose he rushes toward it- the bear, who holds up a metallic paw.

“Wait, hold up, this wasn’t my idea. Please, I’m not a villain.”

The bear is all alone, his single visible eye wide and scared looking. Mao Mao vaguely recalls this one being on the wanted poster as well. Standing with the band of thieves who left the badger trapped beneath rocks and in a perilous situation. A wave of familiarity washes over Mao Mao and he swears the scent of dog wafts faintly in the air, overpowered by the strong smoke smell. Without a second thought, he raises Geraldine, cutting off the badger’s next words with a mighty swing down to the multiple large rocks pinning the bear’s leg. All it takes is one slash and the helpless, pitiful bear is free. Mao Mao holds out a gloved paw to pull the bear out of the cave, which is clasped by a metallic one and Moa Moa heaves backwards, pulling the large animal out of danger with his great strength.

He’s the first one to drop their clasped paws, which earns him a sharp glare from the- Ah-ha! Yes, he knew it, blue eye. So it _is_ the stranger from the road. They stare at each other, with only the sound of the roaring fire to break the silence. If this is a contest, Mao Mao won’t lose. The bear groans and crosses his arms over his admittedly impressive chest.

“Why did you save me?” The bear asks, the glare gone, replaced with a look of both shock and confusion. Which in itself if confusing, Mao Mao had told him last night exactly why he does what he does. Bad memory, perhaps?

“Because I’m a hero” He responds heroically.

“ _And?_ ” The bear retorts sounding exasperated.

Wow, Mao Mao was not expecting that. He rubs the back of his head, sheathing Geraldine. Not about to tell a complete stranger about his tragic backstory and the empathy he’d felt for the bear in that one moment. Instead Mao Mao comes up with a very true, definitely not a lie, reason.

“… and because you warned me about these guys last night.” He says.

The bear blinks shock now completely overtaken by confusion.

“Wait, what? You heard that?” The bear asks incredulously.

The questioning tone is one Mao Mao doesn’t understand, causing him to roll his eyes and point to his head. The answer so obvious he can’t believe the bear is even asking. Maybe he’s an idiot?

“Uh, yeah, I have ears, that’s what they’re for.”

The bear shakes his head and brushes off the dirt that had settled on top of his fur from the dust stirred up by the falling rocks. He places his robot arm on a hip and Mao Mao waits for another idiotic response.

“Yeah, but like, I said it really softly…”

And he’s not disappointed, because um, duh, of course the badger spoke softly.

“So your compatriots couldn’t hear you, yeah, I know.” Mao Mao laughs at the end, quite _chuffed_ with how he’d been able to put that together himself. Obviously, the bear and the rest of the thieves shared some form of long-distance communication. If the bear had spoken any louder, he would have been overheard. Taking such a precaution means the bear can’t be _that_ much of an idiot, he just asks dumb questions. Understandable, Mao Mao has been known to short out even the most brilliant minds with his awesomeness.

* * *

“Is that what you—” The Badgerclops stops himself midsentence to take a deep, cleansing breath. Just breath out the stupid. Mao Mao saved him. Mao Mao is cute, it’s fine. He doesn’t need a brain.

“Yeah, dude, that’s totally what I was doing.” He looks down at Mao Mao with what must be the most dazzling smile the cat has ever seen. “So, what are we like, partners now?” He asks, just throwing the idea out there, not totally opposed to the idea. Mostly not wanting to have to fight. Which will probably happen if the wannabe finds out how infamous a bad guy he is. Mao Mao isn’t a real hero anyway, so it’s not like he’d be going good or anything, and who knows, with how much the guy clearly enjoys violence, maybe Badgerclops can sway him over to his side. Worth a shot, anyway. The cat did say he was going to rescue Badgerclops from his loneliness.

If not, well then, he’s at least got free entertainment until they make it to the port city of Portia. Not like Badgerclops _actually_ intends on becoming a hero.

“What, partners? No, why would you think that?” Mao Mao asks, it now the cat’s turn to sound shocked and confused.

“Because you saved me… from loneliness.” Badgerclops brings a long paw up to his face, snickering, already enjoying himself. “I want to be your co-hero.”

Ha, as if.

“W-well yes, I- but that doesn’t--” Mao Mao starts.

Badgerclops cuts his stammering _partner_ off, cute as it is, and his robotic paw coming to lightly rest over one of Mao Mao’s shoulders, gently leading him away from the fire and back to the road as they continue their conversation.

“So, we’re like, totally partners now.” He confirms, enjoying the idea way more now that the wannabe hero seems so opposed to it.

“No, not partners. We’re two guys on completely separate heroic paths that just so happen to be in the same direction.” Mao Mao corrects with very sharp hand gestures, somehow still unaware of the robotic arm pushing him along.

“Uh-huh, yeah, sure.” Badgerclops blows off Mao Mao’s nonsense, eye sparkling as he thinks of something he’s always wanted to do. Spend two whole days messing with a goody-two shoes.

“So, can we give each other cute nicknames? You can be, uh…” a wicked smile to match his wicked idea slides across Badgerclops’ face as he leans down to tease Mao Mao directly “… _kitten_.”

To his delight Mao Mao’s entire body stiffens and his face flushes in the most adorable blush. Very entertaining. It’s like he’s found a living plush to be his partner. He giggles and steps back, wouldn’t want to overwhelm his new partner so soon. They’ve got two entire days before they reach the next city and Badgerclops intends to stretch his entertainment out over both of them. He can’t go blowing his load all at once.

_Snort._

He’s so very chuffed with how everything has gone in his favor, Badgerclops almost misses the way Mao Mao glares at the sky, his little fists clenched as he tersely responds, “I don’t _do_ partners.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: No, Mao Mao has never seen a badger before. 
> 
> I don’t trust Mao Mao or Badgerclops to be reliable narrators, so I tend to think their story to Adorabat on how they first met was more of a summary than an accurate retelling. 
> 
> I love their dynamic and want to explore how it became what it is on the show. We’ve got years of them developing together as a team before they met Adorabat and began developing as a family. 
> 
> Feedback is very welcome, I love constructive criticism.


	2. Well Met Pt. 2

So, his name is Badgerclops, huh? A cool name, way cooler name than Mao Mao, that’s for sure.

Badger, though, that’s new. Mao Mao has never seen one before, but still, he didn’t expect one to be so _big._ So big, in fact, that he’s not convinced the guys isn’t somehow part bear. Meaning Mao Mao was still partially right. If badgers are so large, why hasn’t he seen one before now? Why did no one in his family ever warn him about running into a hostile badger during his travels? They warned him about lions, tigers, and _bears._

“So, you don’t do partners, or… you don’t _do_ partners?” Badgerclops asks, adding a strange emphasis to the second do and snickering.

“You just said the same thing twice and I am _not_ engaging. A hero NEVER repeats himself.” Mao Mao responds, not getting the reason for the repetition.

The nerves at the base of his spine, right where his tail would start, twitch every time Badgerclops says the word partners. A reminder of two things Mao Mao no longer has and never will again.

Partners, of all the ridiculous ideas. They just met! Sure, Mao Mao saved the badger’s life, sure Mao Mao can practically smell his potential to be a hero, and maybe having a partner again would even be kind of nice. Just a little.

But no, he never repeats himself- that includes past mistakes.

Mao Mao maintains a fast walking pace, only turning his head back occasionally to check and see if the badger is still following him. Just because… well, as a former villain there’s no telling what the badger could do. It’s not like Mao Mao wants the guy to follow him all the way to Portia, or that after traveling alone for so long just having someone to walk with is an enjoyable alternative to the solitude.

And especially not because his curiosity is piqued by everything about the badger. His species, his size, his eyepatch, his cybernetic arm.

They walk in silence for a good distance, all the while Mao Mao manages to steal several glances back at the badger without getting caught. Even in the intense all revealing desert heat, Mao Mao is just that stealthy.

And just like he thought before, the badger is large. Larger than he initially assessed. Not just his height, but his width, his physique, and Mao Mao finds himself looking down at his own thin arms, short legs. So weak. Why, if not for Geraldine there’s no way he could be a hero. Sure, he has the stealth, the speed, the cunning, but his sisters can outpace him in every heroic category that matters without even trying. The only thing putting him on even, albeit rocky, ground as them is his own legendary weapon.

The badger doesn’t look like he needs any weapons to fight, so what’s with the arm? Is it even a real limb replacement, or just a cover?

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Badgerclops quips before taking a long sip of his lemonade.

… Lemonade?

Having been caught, Mao Mao’s ears flatten back against his head. “I don’t have a camera.” He admits.

The badger’s eye is closed, but Mao Mao swears he sees it roll behind the white eyelid.

“Not what I mean, but alright.” Another sip of the lemonade follows and Mao Mao smacks his dry lips together in an effort to move saliva around his parched mouth. 

“And why would I want to take a picture of you?” Mao Mao asks, not entirely sure why Badgerclops would want his picture taken. The desert isn’t the most scenic place, all barren and dead looking, the random skulls lying around are cool though. And the badger still looks a little roughed up and dirty from the whole boulders falling on top of him thing.

The glass of lemonade, now empty, disappears into the robo-arm along with the badger’s paw, an electric fan popping up in its place. So that’s where it came from. Wonder if the guy has any more…

“Uh, because you were staring at me like a creep?” Badgerclops says.

_Creep?_

“I wasn’t!” Mao Mao refutes, the fur along his spin standing in offence. A creep? Him? No way. Heroes aren’t creepy, that kind of behavior is for villains only. That’s probably why Badgerclops thought that way. Because he used to be a villain. Yeah, definitely.

All their talking draws attention to Mao Mao’s parched mouth and inside, he swishes spit around to try and moisten it. He doesn’t need water, it rained all last night and technically, he can go three days without it. Which is exactly why he didn’t bring any.

What he didn’t count on was just how blisteringly hot the desert is, not even the rain the previous night’s rain had cooled it. His feety-paws burn with every step taken along the heated dirt road. His black fir draws the suns heat in and contains it. If he were alone, he’d be panting. But he’s not, so he won’t. And if there’s not a second glass of lemonade, he’ll just deal. Like he always does.

He stops walking to turn and face Badgerclops, pointing at the guys arm and asking, “You, uh, wouldn’t happen to have any more lemonade on you, would you?”

“Oh, uh, sorry man, that was my only glass. I had more back in the cave, but…” Badgerclops trails off and Mao Mao frowns.

Back at the cave, huh? The cave that was on fire and that they kind of just left that way. How much of the badger’s stuff had been left behind? Thinking about what Badgerclops might have lost has Mao Mao thinking that perhaps his hasty turn to violence without at least surveying the area first, might not have been the most heroic course of action. Could he have prevented a fire from breaking out, from Badgerclops being trapped. Would the badger be here now if he hadn’t?

What-ifs are always unpleasant to think about, so he stops.

“Bah, that’s alright, I didn’t really want some anyway. I was just… asking in case YOU wanted more, haha- yeah.” He chuckles and points a thumb at his chest. “An experienced hero such as myself can go three full days without water, a newbie like you couldn’t possibly—”

“THREE DAYS?!” Badgerclops shouts. “Dude, you’re crazy!”

Mao Mao glares, “If you’re just going to call me names, you can—”

Badgerclops holds up a paw, cutting him off. “Hold on a minute.”

Mao Mao’s fists shake. “Don’t you tell me to—” 

“ _Shush._ ”

Mao Mao crosses his arms over his chest and grumbles under his breath. Who does Badgerclops think he is? Interrupting a soon-to-be legendary hero, calling him names, _shushing_ him! It’s rude, that’s what it is, and very unheroic like behavior.

He watches through narrowed eyes as Badgerclops uses a paw as a visor and seemingly scans the desert landscape around them, looking for something. What though? The Thicket Thieves? Well, it’s possible they could come back, seeking vengeance. A bit early for that though, Mao Mao’s enemies usually take three days at _least_ before they’re recovered enough to even plot revenge, much less carry it out.

It’s the only possibility Mao Mao can think of. They’re in the middle of a desert, not like there’s much else.

Badgerclops eye opens and he points ahead of them, slightly off from the road. Mao Mao looks, squinting to try and see whatever the badger sees. Sand, a cactus, hrm. He tenses, about to regurgitate his binoculars when Badgerclops speaks.

“There’s an oasis not too far from the here, like, a fifty-minute walk, _tops._ ” Badgerclops grimaces after saying the word walk.

“So?” He says. “I don’t have time to go play at some oasis.”

“Well you better _make_ time, I don’t want you dying out here. You’d live three days without water just about anywhere but a _desert_.” Badgerclops snarks.

Maybe the guy has a point, but Mao Mao loathes to admit he may have slightly miscalculated the totality of the circumstances.

“And why do _you_ care if I die out here?” He asks, eyes narrow and challenging.

“I dunno, cause dying is gross?” Badgerclops shoots back.

“… Good point.” Mao Mao nods. Dying _is_ pretty gross.

Because he’s a hero now would have also been an acceptable answer from the badger.

“Soooo…” Badgerclops rolls his paws around each other, looking at him as he waits for an answer.

Mao Mao huffs, conceding. “ _Fine.”_ Then quickly adds. “But only to hydrate, then it’s back on the road.”

“Whatever you say.” Badgerclops says dismissively.

They start walking and the further they get from the road, the more everything around them starts to look the same. There’s really nothing to look at, the most interesting thing around being Badgerclops. Because of his robotic arm of course, nothing else. Definitely not because Mao Mao wants to ask the guy what he eats and his workout routine. If all badgers are as big as him and if there’s not at least _some_ bear in him.

It’s the robotic arm, how it works, what all it can do.

They’ve only been walking for ten minutes when Mao Mao’s curiosity gets the better of him, shooting out his mouth in a burst of multiple questions.

“What else can your arm do? Is it an actual limb replacement or just a cover? How do you control it? What’s its power source? What’s it made of?” Mao Mao asks in an excited rush. Only to catch himself seconds later, and cast his gaze deliberately off to the side to show how very not-that interested he is in the answer. Never mind that his body is vibrating from bottled up curiosity.

He coughs and kicks at the sand. “… Not that I’m curious or anything.”

Sure, he’s fought plenty of cybernetically enhanced villains, it’s actually fairly common for the bad guy lot. But he’s never had a chance to see how they actually work. His family relies on pure skill and magical artifacts, nothing artificial about them. Shortcuts, that’s what his father had called cybernetic enhancements. His entire life, Mao Mao has never taken a shortcut.

“What, are you interested in me now?” Badgerclops asks with the most annoyingly cheeky smirk plastered across his face.

“Not you, just your arm.” Mao Mao corrects, to which Badgerclops scoffs and rolls his eye at.

“Yeah, sure dude. But whatever. My arm kind of does whatever I want it to- I mean, it’s got set functions and all, but anything it can’t do I can just program in later.” Badgerclops says with a shrug.

“What are the functions?” He asks while subtly stepping closer to the badger, aiming for a better look, maybe even to touch.

“Dude, two feet.” Badgerclops tells him, a metallic paw held up to prevent Mao Mao from stepping any closer.

He frowns, more so due to his own behavior than the badger telling him to keep his distance. Cool as the arm looks, he can’t go being all friendly to a former baddie. Really messes with the whole loner vibe he’s going for.

“Originally it was supposed to, just like, shoot and stretch really, really far, but I’ve—”

“How far is really, really far?” He interrupts Badgerclops to ask, grinning as it’s completely intentional. See how _he_ likes it, ha!

Somehow the badger’s already closed eye narrows further and the guy leans down, looking rather annoyed, only to smile. Hm.

“Why don’t you find out? I’ll send my arm as far as it can go with _you_ on it.” He says tauntingly. Like a challenge. Almost like he thinks Mao Mao won’t do it. Ha, shows what Badgerclops knows. Mao Mao _lives_ for a good challenge.

“Ha! I like the way you think.” He laughs.

“… You do?” Badgerclops says too quietly for Mao Mao to bother acknowledging.

“Let’s do it!” Mao Mao hunches over, rubbing his paws together, grinning. Time management and parched throat forgotten in the wake of his excitement.

“Yeah… Yeah, alright, I’m not actually sure how far my arm goes. This’ll actually be good metrics.” Badgerclops says, sounding like he’s catching some of Mao Mao’s excitement. Huhuhu.

Mao Mao leaps into the air, aiming for the badger’s metal arm. Only to fall to the ground when the arm jerks away from his precisely aimed pounce. What gives? He stands and dusts the sand off his chest and waist band, frowning up at Badgerclops as he does it, waiting for an answer. He doesn’t wait long.

Sucking in a slow, deliberate breath, Badgerclops presses his paws sharply together and points them at Mao Mao. “Uh, no. I can touch you, but you can’t touch me. Two feet rule.”

Mao Mao rolls his eyes. Sounds dumb, what’s the difference? Touching is touching, completely unnecessary unless it’s for violence or just whenever Mao Mao feels like it. And since Mao Mao is a hero, that means everything he wants to do totally heroic too. Making it okay.

“How am I supposed to get on your arm if I don’t touch you?” Mao Mao argues, though he makes no effort to close their two feet distance.

If Badgerclops has some weird two feet rule Mao Mao will _try_ to comply with it. He doesn’t really like being touch unprompted either, he’s just never put an actual length to the amount of distance people can be near him. Oh well, just something else to ask about if he gets bored again.

“Like this, dude.” Badgerclops says.

Before Mao Mao can respond he’s being lifted up by the back of his cape and held aloft in the air. Like a _kitten._

He kicks his feet trying to swing out of the badger’s grip, growling to be put down. To which Badgerclops _laughs._ The fiend.

“It’s like this or nothing,” Badgerclops says. “But if you wanna _give up_ on the idea I understand.”

Give up? GIVE UP?! Him?! Mao Mao, current great hero and future legendary?

He throws his head back and laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

“A hero NEVER gives up,” he exclaims!

“Cool.”

And then he’s off. The arm shoots out an incredible speed, cause Mao Mao’s mouth to open involuntarily, his skin and fur pushing back from the force of the wind. The desert floor becomes a light brown blur underneath him. He sees the oasis ahead and quickly passes over it, the water sparkling beneath him for only a second before the view is replaced by desert brown again. He’s traveling faster than he ever has before, he could never reach these speeds on his own. The realization has his entire body quivering excitedly.

Oasis far behind him, the arm finally stops moving. He looks around, seeing nothing around him but sand, recognizing none of his surroundings. Wherever he is in the desert, it’s empty. There’s not even one tumble weed or cactus. There is a skull, though. Half buried by sand and right below him, its empty eye sockets stare right up at him. He can’t tell what kind of animal it belonged to. Something with fangs. He wonders how it got here, how it died.

Excitement slowly begins to morph into unease, his body trembling for an entirely different reason now.

What would happen if Badgerclops were to drop him right here, in the middle of a desert no one else knows he’s in? Would he, too, die? Would the next skull travelers comment upon be his own?

Did Badgerclops… trick him?

No, no impossible, that would mean he was wrong, and he’s never wrong.

**You were wrong about Bao Bao.**

The sun’s dry heat hyper focuses on Mao Mao’s black fur, and the sweat from his paws fills his gloves. He feels hot and clammy, dread sinks to the pit of his stomach, like a heavy rock in water. Water. Mao Mao starts to pant, his throat dry and scratch, feeling like he’s swallowed sand.

Before panic can completely take hold of him, he’s swung in the air as the arm starts to shake He looks back and sees little blue flashes of electricity coming from the seams. The grip around his cape starts to loosen, his heart stops, and almost in slow motion he begins falling.

Then grip on the back of his cape suddenly tightens, stopping his descent and pulling the fabric tight enough to choke. He lifts his paws to pry at metal claws, gasping and struggling to suck in air. His vision begins to blur, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. The starts going backwards at the same breakneck speed as before he passes over the oasis, and then—

Everything stops.

He falls to the ground, metallic paw still gripping the back of his cape. His entire body shakes, heart beats rapidly in his chest, his nose twitches, and the nerves along his spine jump.

He landed in the oasis. Mao Mao looks around him, seeing a few palm trees and some trees whose type he doesn’t know. The pool of water is like a small, crystal blue lake, completely surrounded by a thin line of tall grass, with most of the trees around its edge.

Shakily he stands and dusts himself off, though it’s difficult with the robotic arm weighing him down. His body is still shaking and Mao Mao chooses to attribute it to adrenaline more than anything else. He looks down to where the arm is gripping him to where it lays on the ground, its impressive length stretching back farther than Mao Mao can see.

… Or so he thought.

_I was right._

Badgerclops is running toward him, far off but closing the distance fast, the end of his robotic arm held in the opposite paw. Even from where he’s standing, Mao Mao can see the badger is hard of breath, like he sprinted the whole way. Impressive for someone of his size, the bigger ones are usually the worst runners.

Badgerclops stops in front of him, bent over and out of breath as he reattaches the end of his arm. He pushes himself up to look at Mao Mao, eye open as he struggles to speak between heavy breaths.

“Mao Mao! I’m sorry, I lost control of it, I—”

“That. Was. INCREDIBLE!” Mao Mao shouts.

He leaps at the badger, landing successfully and proceeding to climb over Badgerclops’ front and onto his shoulder, reaching down to poke at the few visible segmented lines on the arm. His smile is wide and Mao Mao’s mind is already racing with the heroic applications for such an arm.

His father was right, as always, about it being a shortcut. But Mao Mao never has and never will take a shortcut, so it’s good that there will be another hero to travel down the paths he can’t.

Before he can really get exploring, he’s being lifted up by the back his cape again and brought around to face the badger. A very frustrated looking badger. Huh.

“First, two feet. Second— Dude, I almost dropped you! You could have died! Aren’t you like, mad?” Badgerclops asks. The big guy looks upset? Confused? By what? Almost dropping Mao Mao in the middle of the desert with no means to return to safety without dying of dehydration first?

Mao Mao throws his head back and laughs loudly at the absurdity of it all.

“Mad? Why would I be mad? That’s the fastest I’ve ever gone in my LIFE! We should do it again, only this time UP! I’ll go higher than any hero has gone before-hehe.” He rubs his paws together just thinking about it. He’ll set a record, a record that will go down in a book, a book that his father will read, and then—

“I could have killed you.” Badgerclops says, repeating himself. The guy really needs to take the words a hero never repeats himself more seriously. Mao Mao doesn’t tell him these old family wisdoms for nothing.

“But you didn’t.” Mao Mao reminds him.

“Yeah, but…” Badgerclops huffs, then smiles sadly. “You really think I can be a hero with this arm? It’s kind of hard to control sometimes.”

“Ha! You bet, that arm is going to be a great tool for justice, the bad guys won’t know what hit them.” Mao Mao kicks his legs, swinging and flipping out of the badger’s grip. Landing in a heroic pose, paws on hips, chest puffed up.

“Dude, you’re too much.”

Mao Mao barely has a chance to so much as twitch an ear in response before he’s once again being lifted into the air and tossed. He looks down and sees the shimmering water of the oasis below him.

_Sploosh._

The water is cool when he hits it and annoyed as he should be, all he can think is how good the clean water feels sliding through his fur. Even without scrubbing he already feels clean. He would thank Badgerclops for the impromptu bath, denying the badger the angry cat response he’s clearly going for with this move. But getting back at him sounds like way more fun.

So, he doesn’t try to swim and just sinks right to the bottom, landing on his back. He crosses one leg over the other and rests his paws behind his head, expression smug. He’s going to get back at Badgerclops _and_ prove to the guy that he has hero potential. Stabbing two birds with one sword.

He counts the seconds as they pass, opening his mouth to take drinks of the water as he does, and only gets to twenty before there’s a robotic paw splashing into the water and heading right for him. Heh. As always, Mao Mao’s instincts have been proven right. His smug grin turns into a viscous smirk as he grabs the paw before it can grab a hold of him, and clutching it as tightly as he can, he turns to a standing position. Lifting and pulling at the same time, he uses the momentum of Badgerclops’ own arm to lift the badger into the air, only letting when he feels the arm begin to tug away from him. He swiftly swims away and up to the surface just as the big guy lands in the water.

**_SPLASH!_ **

The resulting tidal wave of Badgerclops hitting the water engulfs Mao Mao and rolls him under its current. Once the wave passes, he swims back up, laughing the second he has air to breath.

Badgerclops rises to the surface soon after and Mao Mao thinks he sees steam rising off the badger he’s so incensed.

Badgerclops’ robotic arm shoots out, once again aiming for Mao Mao. He lets the badger grab him this time, not sure what the ex-baddie will do, but curious nonetheless. He’s lifted out of the water by a metallic paw around his throat, and slammed into a palm tree near the water’s edge.

His mother’s words, _curiosity will be the death of you_ , replay, chastising in his head as the grip around his throat tightens and metal claws dig into the skin beneath his fur.

But does Mao Mao, future legendary hero, show fear at the prospect of an early grave? No, because. He Was. Right.

_Again!_

“What the frick, man?! I thought you were drowning!”

“Ha, ha- I know,” Mao Mao says with a lazy, all-knowing smirk.

“Then why- you—”

Mao Mao interrupts Badgerclops before he can finish speaking, patting the metallic arm that has him pinned as he speaks. It only hurts a little more than a lot, anyway.

“Your instinct was to save me, and you used this arm to do it” He slides a paw up and down the arm, smirk never wavering. “Very heroic of you.”

Hot dog, he loves being right.

“… You really are too much.” Badgerclops says, smiling that same soft smile from earlier. The metallic paw pinning him lets go, zipping back to regular length by Badgerclops’ side. He watches from the shore as the badger begins to wade toward the edge of the water. Time to get out, time to move on from this oasis. Mao Mao _did_ say they would only stay long enough to hydrate.

Then they’ll get moving, only a day until they reach Portia, and then their hero paths will diverge, Badgerclops will begin his own legendary journey, and then…

**_You’ll be alone._ **

Body moving faster than his mind can think, he runs and leaps into the air while curling into a ball, landing right beside Badgerclops in an attempt to create a tidal wave. He can’t very well let Badgerclops be the one to create the biggest splash.

_Sploop._

He doesn’t see the splash, but it didn’t feel very impressive. Which is unusual for anything Mao Mao does. He rises to the surface and twists his head around to see a no less wet than before Badgerclops.

“Aw, was that wittle sprinkle supposed to be a wave?” Badgerclops asks, flicking his claws in the water, mocking Mao Mao’s heroic attempt.

“I’ll show _you_ a wave.” Mao Mao growls back.

With a powerful swipe of his arm right into the water, he splashes a wave right over Badgerclops’ big, condescending face. His attack landing, Mao Mao grins toothily. A taunt to see the badger do better.

“Ha ha, dude, it is _on._ ” Badgerclops says, fixing Mao Mao with a fierce, closed-eye look.

And Mao Mao can’t say _why_ , but his heart thumps wildly in his chest from being on the receiving end of such a look... Probably because they’re about to test their skills in a heroic clash of splashes. Even without the intent to do harm, Badgerclops will no doubt prove more of a challenge than the Thicket Thieves did.

That’s gotta be it.

Badgerclops raises a furry fist into the air and smashes it down into the water, and the war is on.

They splash, they dunk, Mao Mao is tossed into the air more than once, each time performing a perfect swan dive into the water or curling into a perfectly aimed ball to get back at his tosser. Eventually weapons are brought out and the battle gets _really_ interesting. After once again being tossed into the air, laughing the whole way up, he unsheathes Geraldine and brings her down as he free falls in a swift straight arc into the water, parting the water right down the middle and revealing the lake’s bottom, creating his biggest wave yet. He lands standing in the center, sword out as he awaits Badgerclops’ counter strike.

No strike comes and Mao Mao’s ears fall flat against his head and he watches in slow motion as the parted water wobbles before crashing down on him. Unprepared, he sputters and swims to the surface, to see a fierce looking badger pointing a bright blue arm blaster right at him. Still coughing, Mao Mao holds up a paw, shouting, “No, wait—”

The blaster fires and hits the water in front of him, missing him by a foot. He doesn’t even have time to mock the badger for his poor aim before the entire spring is erupting. A massive wave lifts both of them out of the water and crashes onto shore, carrying them with it. Slowly, it recedes back into the pool and leaves both Mao Mao and Badgerclops laying chest up on the shore, tired, panting, soaked, and smiling.

Mao Mao doesn’t know how long their epic battle lasted; he’s not known the time since stepping footy-paw into this desert. It’s either blistering hot, raining, or night. By turning his head to the side and opening one eye, he can see that the sun is much lower than when they first started. Won’t be long before nightfall. They should probably dry off. Traveling at night in a cold desert while wet doesn’t sound like a good time. Plus, the sand will stick to his feety-paws and he _hates_ that.

“We should… probably dry off… man.” Badgerclops says sounding out of breath.

The badger’s voice pulls Mao Mao into action and he stands to begin the process of wringing all the absorbed water out of his cape. While he works on drying himself, Badgerclops takes off his utility sash and throws it up onto one of the shorter palm trees. An excellent idea, if not for the whole nakey thing. He could do it if he were alone, but not while a fellow hero, or anyone for that matter, is present.

Badgerclops would see his ugly stub of a tail, his weird neck, his old weakness wounds.

A metallic paw is held out to him and Badgerclops says “Hand them here, man, I’ll put them up for you.”

Mao Mao shakes his head. “No need, I’ll dry just fine like this.”

Which is true enough, he thinks. Probably. No reason the clothes shouldn’t dry as fast on him as off. Well, maybe his soaking wet body might delay the drying process, just a little. If he could just lick himself dry…

No, no. Big cats don’t lick themselves, that’s kitten stuff. Cutesy, kitty, meow meow stuff- and heroes aren’t any of those things.

Badgerclops stares at him, then shrugs, and Mao Mao is glad the guy isn’t going to make some _thing_ of it. Most make a thing of everything he does, even when he _doesn’t_ want the attention. Very rare, but it happens.

He watches the badger look around and smile as he spots something, and Mao Mao turns his head to see where Badgerclops is looking. Are those… coconuts?

“Jackpot,” Badgerclops says, stretching his arm out to snag two from a tree. “Here dude.”

One of the coconuts is tossed his direction and Mao Mao catches it, looking from the coconut to the guy who threw it at him. “Thanks,” he says.

“No problem dude,” Badgerclops replies. He then stabs a metallic claw into the coconut and he spits it directly around its middles, slicing through the hard coconut shell as easily as a hot knife through butter.

Mao Mao raises a paw to rub at his caped neck unconsciously.

“You need help with that, Mao?” Badgerclops asks, snapping Mao Mao out of his daze.

“Oh, uh, no no, I got this.” He blinks, then grins.

While Badgerclops is still looking, he throws the coconut high into the air. Leaping after it he unsheathes Geraldine and slices the coconut perfectly in half. He front-flips and lands gracefully on both feety-paws, sheathing Geraldine and catching both coconut halves in one smooth motion.

“Neat.” Badgerclops says while walking over to stand near Mao Mao.

He tosses the empty half of the coconut behind him in a disappointed huff. Applause would have been preferred, but Badgerclops’ paw is full so he’ll let it pass. This time.

Badgerclops sits and Mao Mao does the same, keeping the two feet distance. He stretches his legs out in front of him for maximum drying. They sip their coconuts, sitting in silence with their sights directed toward the lowering sun. It turns the sky several shades of orange and is actually kind of pretty. He glances toward Badgerclops out of the corner of his eye and thinks the soft orange glow reflecting off his with and brown fur is kind of pretty too.

He blinks, shakes his head, and looks down at his coconut. A big guy like Badgerclops, pretty? Impossible. Mao Mao sips his coconut to wash away the absurd thought.

As he sips, he can feel the eye of another on him and he knows without looking that Badgerclops is staring at him. The knowledge makes him blush for an unknown reason, probably embarrassment from his own ridiculous thoughts.

Badgerclops fake coughs, ending the peaceful quite that had settled around them.

“… So, uh, what were you doing out in the middle of the desert alone?” Badgerclops asks.

“Looking for the Thicket Thieves, actually.” Mao Mao answers.

“Yeah? And how’d that go for ya?” Badgerclops grins at him, as if he didn’t watch Mao Mao wipe the sandy, dry floor with them.

“It was kind of a letdown, honestly. I thought they’d be stronger, why else would they pick such an important trade route to stake out?” He says.

Badgerclops his head to face the setting sun before answering, “… Who knows.”

Mao Mao isn’t sure if he said something wrong, maybe he insulted Badgerclops’ strength? Something he would never do to a fellow hero. He thinks about how to reassure the new hero that he has time to grow and everyone has to start somewhere, when he remembers just what caused the badger to turn from villainy so quickly after being rescued.

“The Thicket Thieves, they uh, left you in a hurry...” He winces, aware enough to know that was too blunt. Doesn’t stop him from pressing on with his… regard for how Badgerclops might feel about the whole thing. “… Are you okay with that?” He asks, knowing full well that he wasn’t when Bao Bao—

Oh, right, Bao Bao. That was today, wasn’t it? What with all the talking, walking, and the water battle, he had completely forgotten that today is the anniversary of the worst day of his life.

Before he has time to spiral down into his own thoughts and anger, Badgerclops is laughing. Loudly.

“Hahahaha! What? Why wouldn’t I be? Dude, those guys are total losers,” Badgerclops says, still not looking at Mao Mao, but… he _sounds_ convincing.

“What do I care about them bailing on me?” Badgerclops says under his breath.

There it is.

Mao Mao had a similar attitude when first coming to terms with Bao Bao’s betrayal. He’d denied caring, ignored how the traitor had made him feel. For an entire year he had acted as though Bao Bao meant nothing to him and never had. Then the anniversary of the betrayal had come and he just couldn’t keep up the act anymore. All day his anger had leaked out of him, then during a battle, it had gushed out of him all at once. Like a shaken soda bottle with the top popped off.

A bottomless bottle of soda, because once that top was off, he never put it back on.

He doesn’t press the subject, instead opting to change it. If only to clear the awkwardness in the air. He preferred the relaxed atmosphere they’d had while the sun was setting.

“We should probably get going,” he says while looking down at his empty coconut half.

“You sure about that? I was thinking we could just, like, chill here tonight.” Badgerclops says, finally turning to look at Mao Mao. 

Too quickly, he responds. “Oh, well, if _you’re_ tired, then there’s no helping it. You’re a new hero, makes sense that a simple water battle would wear you out- haha.” He grins, stands, stretches, then shivers. The sun has only just gone down and the chill of the night is already setting in.

“A water battle?” Badgerclops asks, and Mao Mao doesn’t have to look to see the grin on his face, he can hear it in his voice. “Is that seriously what you’re calling it?”

“Yeah?” He says, crossing his arms over his chest and pressing his paws into his armpits.

“Nothing man, it’s cute.” Badgerclops says, still grinning, obviously not tired enough to refrain from spouting _fighting words!_

“It’s not cute!” Mao Mao shouts back, insulted that a fellow hero would just go and insult him like that.

“Whatever you say, man.” Badgerclops says sounding unapologetic. “You sure you don’t wanna, like, strip? You’re going to freeze like that.”

“Pft, no I’m not,” Mao Mao says. Badgerclops really doesn’t know the first thing about being a hero. Heroes don’t _freeze_ to death, that’s a totally non-heroic way to go.

“If you say so.”

Badgerclops then uses his arms to scoop up a big pile of sand, patting and pressing it into the shape of a pillow. A terrible idea because wet and sand and ugh. Mao Mao’s nose wrinkles just thinking about waking up with a head covered in sand. No, sleeping on a tree will be better, he’ll dry faster higher up, too. And so he finds one of the few trees with branches, one branch, in the oasis, not too far from where Basgerclops has chosen to lay, and climbs up. He rests his head against the trunk and wraps his red cape around his body to contain the maximum amount of body heat.

His red, holey, frayed, damp cape.

Mao Mao watches from his tree branch as Badgerclops adjusts himself on the ground, rolling left and right, before finally settling on his back, paws behind him, buried underneath the pillow of sand. 

“Night,” Badgerclops says through a yawn.

“Oh, uh, night.” Mao Mao responds, eyes blinking in repetition at just how… mundane that was.

Not even trying to hide his staring, he watches as the badger slowly drifts off. His own eyelids begin to droop, only to open wide as a violent shiver wracks his body. The sun fully down, a breeze blowing, has dropped the temperatures to a painful degree. How can Badgerclops possibly sleep like this? He narrows his eyes and his gaze roves over the badger’s body, lingering on his chest, his arms.

Is it the muscles? Or is badger fur particularly thick?

Time passes, ten minutes, then thirty, his eyes never straying from the badger’s sleeping form.

Mao Mao pulls his body into a tighter ball, shivering nonstop now. So cold. And there Badgerclops is, practically radiating heat from his massive body. Mao Mao’s ears flatten against his head as a heavy gust of wind blows by, nearly knocking him off of his branch.

The desert night is pitch black, the moon and stars providing little light, but even so, Mao Mao can see Badgerclops clear as day. And he looks like a furnace.

Pupils dilated as wide as they can be, he sees what he swears is steam rise up off of the badger’s body, rising an entire two feet into the air.

Two feet. That’s the rule, right?

Too many more minutes pass before Mao Mao has the will to unwrap himself from his cape, releasing what little heat he had accumulated. He clenches his teeth to keep them from clattering. He slowly and quietly climbs down from the tree. He hides behind it, triple checking to make sure he hasn’t woken the badger. Certain he has not, Mao Mao silently steps toward Badgerclops. The closer he gets, the more he can feel the warmth radiating off the guy. Standing two feet away is like standing near a small camp fire and Mao Mao has the urge to stick his paws out over Badgerclops’ body and rub them together.

He doesn’t, instead laying down and curling into the tightest little ball he’s ever laid in, small enough so he can cover his entire body with his cape, even his head.

Badgerclops’ breath hitches and Mao Mao tenses inside his cape. He keeps one eye open in the darkness, waiting, listening, but the badger’s breathing evens back out and Mao Mao breathes a sigh of relief through his nose.

His open eye closes and his own breathing slowly starts to even out. Finally falling asleep. Finally, warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I totally know some of Mao Mao's thoughts here are, say... problematic. 
> 
> We'll get to that. On a side note, this chapter had me worried because it's all from Mao's perspective and I had to stretch his insanity full length. It's difficult to find a balance between the silly and the serious, kudos for the show writers who straddle that bar every episode. 
> 
> And quick question: I have a playlist that I created specifically for this fic, really helps with the vibe that I'm going for. Would ya'll be interested in me including the song title that jells with the chapter the most in the beginning chapter notes? Just curious.


	3. Well Met Pt. 3

Badgerclops has been awake for an _absurdly_ long time not to have moved. Like, it was still dark when he woke up and now the sun is peaking out over the horizon. Yet he’s still lying in the same spot he went to sleep in, not even his posture having changed since first laying down. Which is weird, because he usually winds up on his side sometime during the night.

He knows why he didn’t move, though, and it honestly makes him kind of mad. He wants- no he _needs_ to move. He just can’t! And it’s all Mao Mao’s fault!

The little twerp fell asleep on him!

Like, right on top of him, right between his stomach and chest. Mao Mao is curled up on him in that ratty red cape of his, snoozing away and his peaceful, resting face is so infuriating Badgerclops can’t even acknowledge how cute the guy looks. What Mao Mao is doing is a total lack of respect for Badgerclops’ boundaries, completely going against his two feet rule.

But worst of all is that he really, _really_ needs to pee.

So. Why. Can’t. He. Move!?

Is it some kind of magic? Was he poisoned? He can’t think of any other reason why he’s still lying in the sand letting this littler jerk use him as a cat bed. Because no matter how badly Badgerclops NEEDS to move, he can’t seem to budge. Any movement would jostle the sleeping hero atop him and likely wake him. And Badgerclops doesn’t care, he doesn’t! Mao Mao deserves to be dumped on the ground for getting on top of him like this. Yeah, sure, the guy is cute, but not that cute. Not cute enough to just invite himself into Badgerclops’ personal space and fall asleep on him like he’s the guy’s personal heated bed.

Yeah, maybe yesterday was fun, a lot of fun. And maybe Mao Mao had made Badgerclops’ heart do a weird flutter spin yesterday when he’d said he believes Badgerclops can really be a hero. Being all stupidly trusting and friendly to someone who is obviously a bad guy. Maybe Mao Mao has poor eyesight, because has he even looked at Badgerclops? He looks nothing like a hero. He looks like the biggest bad guy ever.

And bad guys don’t care about tossing nice little kittens to the side. They don’t care about tossing anyone to the side.

**They don’t care about _you._**

Badgerclops’ gaze hardens and on the count of three, he’s going to dump Mao Mao to the side and not care how it makes the guy feel.

Okay. One. Two. _Three._

…

Gosh darn it!

Badgerclops stares up at the still dim sky. The sun isn’t fully risen, but Badgerclops is sweating, _profusely._ Internally panicking. Why can’t he move? He NEEDS to. His bladder is starting to feel like a water balloon being filled with too much water, a straining, painful sensation.

Maybe… maybe he can turn onto his side, slowly, carefully, so that Mao Mao gently slides off onto the ground. That shouldn’t wake the guy up, and it’ll free Badgerclops up to take care of his business.

Yeah, that’ll totally work. The reason he can’t move is probably just his survival instincts kicking in. Not that he can’t take Mao Mao, cause, c’mon of course he can, but dealing with an angry cat this early in the morning sounds like a pain. Small, frightened animals tend to bite when startled and Badgerclops really doesn’t feel like having anymore chunks taken out of him.

He takes a deep breath and lifts his head to watch Mao Mao as he tries to wake him.

“Hey… hey Mao.” He whispers, gently shaking the guy. “C’mon, man, wake up,” he says a little louder.

Badgerclops lets out a frustrated grumble, flopping his head back down onto the sand, when Mao Mao just buries himself deeper into his cape. He is going to BURST if Mao Mao doesn’t get off him soon. It’s like, top five worst feelings in the world. He crosses his legs together and shakes Mao Mao again, this time a little more desperately than before.

Nothing.

“Mao!” Badgerclops shouts, done with being gentle. He’ll take a bite or a scratch over pissing himself. In front of a _hero_ no less.

“Wha- what?” Mao Mao mumbles, still clearly half a sleep. But that’s half less than before. Finally.

Badgerclops shakes the guy again. “Dude, get up, I _really_ have to go.”

Mao Mao yawns then stretches atop him, unfurling from his cape and jostling Badgerclops’ stomach in the process, making him wince. Then they lock eyes with the guy, two to one. Mao Mao is frozen on top of him, the exact opposite of what Badgerclops needs, and clearly looking confused.

“Comfortable?” He asks with a smirk, unable to let a golden opportunity like this go.

Ha. Golden.

He watches as if in slow-motion as Mao Mao’s fir stiffens, sticking straight up on his body. The cat jerks then jumps off him, practically stabbing Badgerclops in the stomach with his tiny feety-paws as he does it. Badgerclops rolls to his side and up off the ground, an arm wrapped around his stomach as he glares at the frozen stiff cat. 

“Aw, jeez! Dude, you almost—” Badgerclops cuts himself for to turn and dash toward the nearest tree. A thin little palm tree, but better than nothing. He faces away from the dazed and confused cat, pressing his back against the tree to finally

Ah, sweet release. Badgerclops sighs and he practically melts against the tree behind him.

Deed done, he comes out from behind the tree, holding his paws out in front of him. He walks over to the pool of water and bends over to splash his paws in it, washing them to the best of his ability.

He’s a bad guy, not a barbarian.

Wiping his wet paws off on his fur, he comes to stand by a still frozen Mao Mao. Heh, it’s funny how easy the guy is to get a reaction out of. Aren’t heroes supposed to be all stoic? Minimal reactions that aren’t part of some justice fueled fury. No sense of humor, and definitely no splash fights with a badger they barely met a few hours prior.

“You know if you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do was ask,” he teases. “Was that your way of saving me from loneliness?” He continues, too amused to be mad. A first for him, because despite his chill persona, he’s usually a lot more cross when his two-feet rule is ignored.

“I, no… that was…” Mao Mao starts, still refusing to look in Badgerclops’ direction. He holds back a laugh and presses on.

“Or maybe… _you’re_ the one who’s lonely?” He asks, leaning down to place a single claw under Mao Mao’s chin, tilting his small head up to force him to meet Badgerclops’ eye.

His joking accusation finally causes the cat to snap and slap his claw away. The hero glares at Badgerclops, pointing a finger at him and snarling “I am NOT lonely!”

And it’s so freaking funny all Badgerclops can do is lean back release a full-belly laugh, one paw on his stomach as his entire body shakes from the force of it. 

“Yeah, sure dude, whatever you say.” He responds, whipping away a single tear.

This guy is just so fun to mess with. Is it because he’s a hero? Or how he tries to act like he’s not affected by Badgerclops’ teasing when _clearly_ he is? Whatever the reason, Mao Mao is lucky Badgerclops finds it so hilarious, or else he would have been on a one-way train to pain town for sleeping on top of him last night. Badgerclops probably would have seriously messed up anyone else who had dared to break his two feet rule.

“I’m not lonely,” Mao Mao repeats softly, his tiny gloved fists clenched and shaking. Like he wants to hit him.

Badgerclops dares him to try.

“… The sun’s up and it’s only going to get hotter. We should get moving.” Mao Mao says instead, turning his head away from the badger and walking back out into the desert. Badgerclops’ brow rises at the response, mildly surprised a physical altercation didn’t break out. Judging from the way the guy salivated while beating the Thicket Thieves, he figured the hero for one of those crazy, ultra-violent types. Maybe he was wrong.

Or maybe this hero has just learned not to pick fights he can’t win.

Boring, but whatever, walking alone would have been more boring. Badgerclops shrugs and says “Sure, road’s this way.” Then starts back in the direction they came from. He’ll get ahead of Mao Mao today, just to see him struggle to keep up with those tiny legs. Yesterday he walked slowly because his foot had been KILLING him after having all those heavy rocks fall on it.

He looks behind him to see if Mao Mao is following him and yup. He also takes a second to glance over the guy’s body. Can’t help it, the cat is ALL leg and it’s a little disconcerting to think Mao Mao’s legs might actually be just as long as his own. It’s unfair and only serves to call attention to Badgerclops’ weird leg to torso ration. Something he’s been self-conscious about his entire life. No matter how much he bulks, his upper body grows while his legs stay the same.

It’s not fair.

Badgerclops huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, glaring down as he walks. And what does he see out of the corner of his eye but little Mao walking right beside him. Well, walking is the wrong word to use. More like hopping. The cat is bouncing from one feety-paw to the other and wincing between steps. What… Oh.

The sand is really, really freaking hot. Course, it’s nothing Badgercops can’t handle. He has thick fur, a thick hide, and the pads on the bottom of his paws are thick too. Sure, he feels the temperature, but it doesn’t really get to him the same way it does smaller animals.

“You know I could just… carry you?” He offers, much to his own surprise. Mao Mao bouncing on the hot sand is _funny_ , why would he want to stop it? It’s what the guy deserves for the stunt he pulled last night.

And all his generosity gets him is a glare. The hero hops ahead of him, the time between his hops growing shorter and shorter the longer they walk.

He hears the cat hiss and Badgercops frowns. Mao Mao is a stubborn guy; most would have taken Badgerclops up on his offer even if they weren’t suffering on hot sand. Who likes walking? Not him. And that thought has him coming up with a terrible idea. Because what’s worse than walking, but not worse than stairs?

“… Race you to the road?” He asks, awkwardly laughing at the end. Running. Running is worse.

Mao Mao’s eyes widen before narrowing, and for a second he thinks he just made the guy angrier. Then a wicked little smile is directed his way. For some unknown reason it makes Badgerclops’ heart thump heavily in his chest, but before he can say anything Mao Mao is laughing and responding “You’re on.”

Then without even a one, two three, _go_ \- the runt is taking off, laughing manically as he sprints.

Badgerclops smirks and turns his back to the cat. Could be that Mao Mao really is cut out to be a bad guy, what with that evil laugh and unscrupulous racing etiquette. If Badgerclops’ weren’t so assured in his victory, he might have even be a little mad about it. But then he raises his right arm, and his cybernetic paw transforms into a blaster. Grinning, he jumps, simultaneously swinging his legs forward and firing a powerful blue laser. The force of it rockets his body backwards at a high speed unattainable with a non-modified body. It takes less than two seconds for him to catch up to the cheating hero, and he waves at Mao Mao as he passes, who looks both shocked and enraged. Too bad for Mao Mao, but it’s his loss.

Badgerclops never said it was a _leg_ race.

It takes no time at all for the road to come into view, and he powers down his blaster the closer he gets. He smoothly slides onto the road, coming to a full stop just as a little black dot p

“Heroes don’t cheat,” Mao Mao barks, pointing a finger up at the badger. 

“Looks like they don’t win races either,” he snarks back, victory grin still present.

Mao Mao looks like he’s about to explode and Badgerclops wonders if he’s going to have to fight after all. Just like a hero to take losing so poorly; they always do. Shouting curses and ruing revenge. Why, this one time a hero swore payback after losing to Badgerclops in an arm-wrestling match. Like the loser didn’t _expect_ Badgerclops to use his cybernetic arm. That’s all he ever deals with, losers who can’t handle the fact that Badgerclops is way cooler than them. So they attack him, or mock him, or- or _bail_ on him…

Mao Mao sucks in a breath and Badgerclops tenses. He expects the hero to launch himself at Badgerclops, and he jerks back when a single, gloved paw raises up, palm open.

“Yes, they do,” Mao Mao says. “Good race.” He holds out the paw like… like he wants Badgerclops to shake it? Like some kind of good sportsmen like conduct? What’s with that? Where did the anger go? Badgerclops doesn’t get it, heroes do NOT know how to lose gracefully. Which, maybe now that he thinks about, is a good thing.

Because looking down at Mao Mao’s open paw is awkward. Just like when he told Badgerclops he’d make a great hero back in the oasis, only this time there’s no water to dunk the guy in.

“Oh hey, the town’s not too far from here, let’s goooo…” He says, turning away from the cat to head in the direction of the town. Acting like he didn’t even see the paw held out to him, despite looking right at it. And since he’s still a bad guy, he definitely doesn’t feel bad about it. Or feel a kick in the gut when he looks back to see Mao Mao standing still and looking at his paw with a deep frown.

Haha, yeah, no way.

He faces forward, also no longer caring if Mao Mao is following him. That he keeps slightly turning his head back and squinting down behind him to see little black feety-paws trailing after him is irrelevant. He totally doesn’t care, and as a professional bad guy, it’s just smart to always be ready for a stab in the back.

* * *

Their remaining trek is a silent one, not what Badgerclops had originally planned, but how can he crack jokes at a guy whose handshake he totally blew off? It would feel kind of mean spirited, not the fun kind of teasing he was hoping for. And in spite of his own feelings, he doesn’t sense any animosity from behind him. Like, it’s not an awkward silence? Which is weird because every time Badgerclops looks back at Mao Mao he _feels_ awkward.

Which is awful, because he’s too cool to feel awkward.

He huffs, feet hurting for reasons completely unrelated to the hot sand or hard road. Hours of walking when he could just blast himself to Portia. How long has it been since he last walked this long? Literal years. Ugh, why doesn’t he just do that now? Not like Mao Mao would care, it was HIM who said they weren’t partners. Which means Badgerclops is under no obligation to stick with him. Even if Mao Mao HAD said yes, Badgerclops hadn’t really meant it.

So yeah, he’s totally going to leave the hero behind. Transforming his metallic paw into a blaster, he begins counting down from ten. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one—

“There’s the city!” Mao Mao shouts from behind him.

Badgerclops jolts and hastily transforms his paw back, looking ahead to see the city of Portia. How had he missed it? It’s a not as big as he’d expected, but still, it’s surrounded by a short cobblestone wall, obviously there for looks more than anything. It can’t be for protection, it’s short enough for a reasonably sized latter to get over, and there isn’t even a gate between the road and the city, just a break in the wall. No guards outside the wall either. The place looks like it’s just asking to be robbed. The houses and shops behind the wall look like what one would expect from a sea-shanty town, nothing too tall and all wood. Badgerclops wonders what kind of pubs it has.

He wonders if heroes go to pubs…

The sun is still high in the sky, meaning they’ve got hours of daylight left. Meaning they made good time, not as fast as Badgerclops would have gone alone, but faster than he thought someone so small and non-mechanically enhanced could go. Even faster now that the cat has spotted the city, the guy having picked up his pace and is now matching Badgerclops’ stride. Won’t be too much longer before they’re in the city.

Then what? Badgerclops glances down at the hero, once again wondering if heroes go to pubs. They could share a drink, a goodbye of sorts. Nothing sappy just… Even with the two feet rule breaking, Badgerclops had a good time. The trek through the desert was more enjoyable with a runt of a hero than it would have been with the Thicket Thieves. The jerks.

Once they’re in town, he and Mao Mao will part ways. He’ll be on his own for the first time in a while. Not that he minds being alone, just… There’s only so many times a person can laugh at their own jokes before the sound becomes grating.

The open city gate is fast approaching and with every step Badgerclops feels a bit heavier than the last. Are they immediately going to part once they’re through the gate? If that’s the case he should invite Mao Mao out for a drink now. He thinks that, but his mouth is dry and jaw locked. What’s wrong with him? He’s never been nervous around anybody, he’s too cool for that. But then, he’s never been around anybody like Mao Mao. The short amount of time they spent together was already enough for Badgerclops to figure that out.

An anticipatory edge makes Badgerclops’ fur stand as they pass through the gate, but nothing happens. They keep walking, side by side. Mao Mao makes no move to step away, and looking down at the little guy Badgerclops can see he’s frowning. Why though? He would ask what’s wrong if not for the whole locked jaw thing.

He thinks of the reasons why Mao Mao would look unhappy after finally reaching their destination and a pleasant tingly filling fills Badgerclops at the thought that the hero is just reluctant to part ways with someone so cool. So forgiving. So humble.

He smiles as they continue to walk through town, passing fruit stands, houses, shops, and a variety of marine animals out doing their business. Who of course turn their heads to watch the duo as they pass by. An annoyance, depending on his mood. Some days when he’s feeling hot, stares are exactly what he needs. On days where he’s not feeling so hot, well, on those days people learn that staring is more than just rude; it’s potentially fatal.

Luckily for the city folk he’s in a good mood.

The further they walk into town, the cooler the temperature becomes. The sun’s oppressive heat becomes less intense, and the faint scent of the sea wafts through the air as a cool breeze ruffles his fur. The feeling is so nice he doesn’t even notice Mao Mao has stopped moving until he’s walking past the guy. They’ve reached the center of town, marked by a fountain with a fish as its centerpiece spewing water out of its gaping mouth. Gross.

He looks behind him to see Mao Mao facing away from him. Those gloved paws are clenched again and Badgerclops wants to know what’s up with the guy. He’s been tense like, all day, and for no reason. Considering the circumstances, Badgerclops has been a perfect gentleman. He barely teased the guy, found him water, and generously didn’t beat the guy to a pulp for sleeping on top of him. Maybe the hot sun and long walk has just wore the little guy out and he’s pretending to be sturdy. Badgerclops gets that, he’s seen it plenty of times with smaller animals. That’s one of the things that made the Thicket Thieves so different. Their members were all small, but they didn’t put up a front. They knew they were weak and so they modded themselves to overcome their shortcomings.

Ha. Shortcomings. Nice, now he’s both impressed with his punny abilities and cranky that his mind once again drifted to that loser team who left the best thing that had ever happened to them.

Not to be the one to break the silence, but really needing a mood distraction, he scans the shops and homes that surround the center of town, looking for his usual go to. He grins when he spots what he’s looking for. A pub, sweet. Now to just ask the cat out for a farewell drink, and really, who could turn down a cool guy like him? And then it’s back to—

“This is where we part ways,” Mao Mao says dispassionately, holding out a paw for him to take. Like he wants some kind of sappy goodbye shake.

Badgerclops blinks, smile fading, not expecting the blunt statement, even though he should have been. He laughs without really feeling it, once again ignoring the paw held out to him. This is totally not where they part ways. They’ve still got a pub to go to.

“Haha, yeah, but first—”

A scream cuts him off, and they both whip their head around to the direction it came from.

Outside of a wooden, rundown looking shop is a young porcupine girl, she’s gripping a small black, rectangular box and struggling to hold onto it as a…

As Ratracer tries to take it from her. Ratracer? That would mean—

“Thief!” The porcupine shouts from the ground, having fallen during the struggle. Badgerclops blinks, but otherwise doesn’t move. What’s the point? Mao Mao is already running toward Ratracer, who upon seeing him shrieks and spins her wheel as fast as she can, taking off toward the town’s open gate.

“Get back here!” Mao Mao shouts, running after the rat. But Badgerclops knows the hero has no chance of catching up. That giant wheel of hers isn’t just for show, out of all the Thicket Thieves, Ratracer is the fastest. Without help, she’s going to get away. Again.

Something dark and angry bubbles up inside him and he’s transforming his metal paw into a blaster.

Calculating, he shoots ahead of where Ratracer is speeding, causing her to abruptly change direction. He fires again, and again, cutting off every turn she takes. The shots stir up dust and cause her to wobble as she tries to escape. The loss of momentum gives Badgerclops an opening to aim right at her head- and long enough for Mao Mao to catch up, apparently. His presence throws off Badgerclops’ aim, which is totally why he doesn’t shoot, and not because the worry of hitting Mao Mao flittered through his mind.

The rat turns right into Mao Mao, shouting as the hero swings his golden sword right at her. Hearing her terrified shriek has him grinning. Only for it to fall when Ratracer doesn’t get what’s coming to her. Mao Mao’s blade slicing through the rat’s single tire rather than the thief herself.

Wow, lame.

Ratracer falls face first onto the ground, and disappointed as he is, Badgerclops still laughs. Face plants are prime slapstick and he’s always appreciative of the comedic art. Even more so when it’s clearly unintentional on the perpetrator’s part.

He waits for Mao Mao to finish the job, but the guy just sheaths his sword and bends down to pick up the little black box Ratracer had stolen. Again, lame.

The lameness of what just occurred is in direct juxtaposition with the way Mao Mao is hopping up and down like an excited child.

“Haha!” The cat bounds over to Badgerclops, green eyes bright with excitement. “Did you see the look on that bad guy’s face when I slashed her tire?” Mao Mao has the widest smile Badgerclops has ever seen spread across his face as he looks up at the badger. “And the way you shot right in front of her, cutting off her escape— Legendary.”

Unused to praise for anything but his villainy, Badgerclops flushes, scratching the side of his face bashfully as he fishes for more compliments. “I guess it was pretty cool…” He hedges.

“Pretty cool?!” Mao Mao exclaims. “It was AMAZING!”

Badgerclops smiles, opening his eye just a smidgen. “So maybe I really am cut out of this hero stuff?”

Mao Mao scoffs, “Oh please, you’re already LOADS better than some heroes I know.” The guy’s eyes narrow, but Badgerclops hardly notices. Too focused on his own praise.

“You really think I can be a _cool_ hero?” He asks.

“Absolutely.” Mao Mao responds.

“An awesome hero?” He questions.

“Of course.” The cat answers.

“A popular hero?” He continues.

“Definitely.” Mao Mao returns.

Clasping both his paws together and leaning down, he looks at Mao Mao, wishing he had long eye lashes so he could bat them. “A daaaaashing hero?” He says, dragging out the most important word.

“Okay, now you’re pushing it.” Mao Mao says deadpan, and Badgerclops jerks back, blush returning full force at the realization the hero knew that he had just been fishing for praise that whole time. Sheesh, and Mao Mao went along with it?

… That was actually kind of nice of him.

It has Badgerclops thinking that he could probably wring more compliments out of him after a few drinks. Mao Mao looks like a total lightweight, it probably won’t even take a few drinks to get the guy to start singing Badgerclops’ praises. One outta do it.

Badgerclops gestures behind him, pointing at the pub the’d passed by earlier. “You wanna go check that place out? First round’s on me.” He says with a plotting-something grin.

Mao Mao blinks then

“A bar? I won’t go in there- I can’t!” Mao Mao says, sounding like he was just asked to do something scandalous.

“Dude, why not?” Badgerclops asks, grin dropping.

“I can’t drink!” Mao Mao exclaims.

“Whyyyyyy?” Badgerclops says, already getting pretty miffed. 

“I’m underage!” The hero shouts and it’s so unexpected Badgerclops has to blink and look down at the hero. No freaking way.

“Like, underage- underage?” Badgerclops asks. Like, yeah, sure, the guy _looks_ like a toddler but Badgerclops had just assumed they were the same age. He does that with a lot of people.

“I’m _seventeen_ ,” Mao Mao informs him, and Badgerclops lets out a deep sigh of relief. That’s not so bad.

“The drinking age in this kingdom is eighteen,” Mao Mao explains. To which Badgerclops can only laugh. What a goody-two shoes.

“Dude, that’s it? No problem- I’ll buy for you.” Badgerclops oh-so generously offers, not bothering to hide how amused and relieved he is that the guy isn’t actually like, ten.

Mao Mao saying he’s underage was almost like, a major bummer. Badgerclops makes a concerted effort not to hang out with minors, but seventeen is so close to the line, he’ll make an exception. Just this once. Besides, providing to a minor is like, the most _minor_ bad guy thing he could do. One, or two, or three measly little drinks won’t do anything to the hero’s good guy cred.

“Drinking underage is against my hero’s code.” Mao Mao says sternly while crossing his arms over his chest.

Two which Badgerclops can only roll his eyes to. Hero’s code, really? That sounds so fake.

“C’mon man, don’t be lame. No one’s going to revoke your hero card for ONE drink.” Badgerclops pressures. If they don’t get a drink together now, that’s it. They walk away and never see each other again. Which is FINE. Just… not yet. He’s been having fun and is loath to end it now. Feels premature. Like they’re only just getting started. Like they could be having way more fun, if only Mao Mao would say yes.

And it looks like he’s about to. The way the little guy bites his lower lip and looks nervously between Badgerclops and the pub behind him. Ha. It’s cute how the confident, boisterous hero gets worked up over the simplest things. A last drink between partners. Heh.

“I… I…” Mao Mao starts, and Badgerclops can already guess what he’s about to say.

How he’s so sorry for even thinking of telling such a cool guy no, why he’d LOVE to have his first drink with Badgerclops and wow, Badgerclops is so generous, so amazing, so cool—

“No.” Mao Mao’s steely green eyes stare up at the badger, the refusal so straightforward it can’t be mistaken for anything but an outright rejection.

Badgerclops eye twitches.

How DARE he turn Badgerclops down when he’s asking him out for drinks. The very idea that he might actually be getting rejected right now has Badgerclops stretching out his metal arm to swiftly snatch the hero by the back of his cape and lift him up. It would be so easy to make him regret saying no. Just a flick, a toss, and the guy is sailing through the air screaming he’s sorry. Then the hero is apologizing, agreeing to drinks as he plummets to the ground, and Badgerclops is catching him before he lands and they’re getting drinks like nothing happened…

“Wha- UNHAND ME!” Mao Mao shouts, kicking and squirming, looking like he’s really trying to break free of Badgerclops’ grip. Badgerclops having zoned out for a second, t’s kind of sad really, all that effort and Badgerclops wouldn’t even have to try and he could fling the hero all the way across town. That’s why he puts Mao Mao down, out of pity. It’s not because the guy sounds genuinely mad, because like, why would Badgerclops care? Their little faux partnership is coming to an end, after tonight they’ll never see each other again, and Mao Mao won’t even have a drink with him to commemorate the experience.

Badgerclops sniffles.

“Fine,” he says fighting back emotions. “I didn’t really wanna drink with you anyway!”

With that, he turns and runs into the bar, pushing its heavy red door open with ease and feeling satisfied when it slams loudly shut behind him, the tiny bell attached ringing his arrival. His expression abruptly shifts once he’s inside, become cooler and less emotional. Looking more like the bad guy he is than the hero he was pretending to be. The only sign that he had even been remotely bothered before is the occasional nose twitch.

Stupid Mao Mao, won’t even join him for a drink. Well whatever, if heroes are too good for bars then Badgerclops is super glad he’s not really going to become a hero. Who cares how much fun he had with Mao Mao? Or how nice and cute the guy is. It’s not very _nice_ to turn someone down who just basically saved the day. The littler hero never would have caught Ratracer without his help. Doesn’t matter that

Mao Mao should have been grateful. Mao Mao should have been the one to invite HIM out for a drink!

Badgerclops huffs angrily and marches to the bar, barely even noticing the manatee on the other side of it giving him an odd look. He does notice it, though, and the look only serves to further irritate him. Which is fine, anger is a totally cool and normal bad guy way to feel. Being hurt by rejection is something only losers feel because only losers get rejected. And Badgerclops hadn’t really wanted to come to the bar with Mao Mao, he was just taking pity on the guy.

… Who wants to hang out with some goody-two shoes anyway?

Looking around, it’s not like the bar he’s in is anything special. It looks like every other pub he’s ever been in. Some sea-monster heads hanging on the wall, fireplace off in the back, like ten wooden tables with uncomfortable looking chairs. The faint scent of mold in the air is new, same with everything looking just a little bit damp. Kind of gross, actually.

Seeing a manatee bartender behind the bar’s counter is also new, and only slightly less gross than the rest of the bar. There’s seaweed piled on his head like it’s meant to be hair, he’s wearing a white and blue striped shirt, and the big blue guy looks like he hasn’t bathed in days. An admirable quality if only the manatee where in any other occupation.

Oh well, not like Badgerclops can leave now.

He walks over to the bar and a squish sound follows every footstep, along with the feeling that he’s sinking into the waterlogged wooden floorboards. Bleck. Badgerclops’ nose curls, and if it weren’t for the dramatic fashion by which he entered, he would have left. Cheap pubs are fine, but he has _standards._ And seeing moss cover more than one of the tall bar stools along the front counter is definitely beneath them. Even the front counter is looking like it’s seen better days.

Isn’t this supposed to be some kind of well-off port city? Even the shops and homes he’d passed by when walking toward the center of town hadn’t looked all that fancy. Well, whatever, not like he’ll be staying long here anyway. Just one night, just enough to get his cool back. That runt Mao Mao having temporarily robbed him of it.

Huffing, Badgerclops picks out one of the stools not covered in moss by the bar. He sits and finds that it’s oddly comfortable. The stool isn’t tiny like it would be in most other places. Probably because the barkeep, the manatee, standing across from him, cloth held in a flipper as he cleans a glass, isn’t tiny either. Guy’s almost as big as Badgerclops. Good, maybe the guy won’t serve tiny drinks either. It’s always a pain to have to buy five drinks just for a little buzz.

“Hey, barkeep, got anything strong?” He asks, voice hard, very bad guy like.

The manatee raises one blubbery brow and nods, then turns to the wall of alcohol behind him to grab a bottle from the top. Badgerclops thinks nothing of it, he’ll just add the cost of anything he gets today to a tab he won’t pay tomorrow. Screw this pub.

Tomorrow, he thinks as a shot the size of a regular drink is set out before him. Nice. Seeing his reflection in the amber colored liquid lifts his spirits, if only slightly, and he grins at the manatee as he grabs the glass.

“Pretty big for a shot,” Badgerclops says. Not complaining, just noting.

“This be a port city, mister, most ‘ave that much for breakfast.” The manatee responds, sailor accent thick.

Badgerclops shrugs, not in the mood for idle chit chat, but also not wanting to be left to his own thoughts either. Drinking while angry never ends well for everyone around him. Just fine for him, but he’d rather not trash the place just yet. He at least wants to have a few more drinks first, wait out the hero in town. Then in the distant future when Mao Mao hears of the fate of Portia, he’ll regret ever turning Badgerclops down for drinks.

“How’s business been?” He asks,

“Been alright, though with trade route being terrorized, not many ‘ave had the spare coin for a drink.” The Manatee explains. And Badgerclops’ mood is too sour to actually find what he said as objectively funny as it is. He should be subtly joking about how terrible the bad guys along the road must be, how strong. But all he does is sit in silence and allow the barkeep to carry the conversation.

“The inn’s been where most the coin’s been coming from. What with the trade route bein’ so dangerous, tradesmen ‘ave had to take up here. Cain’t afford the swankier hotels no more.” The manatee sounds less concerned about the coin in the town drying than he probably should be, and again Badgerclops misses an opportunity to joke.

“This place has an inn?” He asks, waving for another drink to be sent his way.

“Aye,” the manatee nods. “Not many rooms, but they be enough.”

Staying the night sounds good, crap as this city is, it’s better than venturing back out into the desert alone. His mood is so fowl, there’s no telling what he might do if he runs back into Mao Mao out there.

Ugh, Mao Mao. Badgerclops swiftly downs his second drink, then waves for yet another to be sent his way. Not exactly the best idea on an empty stomach, but whatever. Maybe if a certain little hero hadn’t said no, they’d be EATING and drinking and having a good time right now.

“You got a room for the night,” he asks the barkeep.

The manatee shakes his head. “Sorry, badger,” he says while cleaning a glass. “Me last room was booked a few hours ago buy a group o’ fellows. They kind of resembled you actually- oh, speak of the deep, here they are now.” The barkeep sets the third shot down on the counter just as the bell of the front door jingles.

Badgerclops turns his head toward the sound, and what should he see but a mole, a frog, and a busted-up rat carried between the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I wanted to open the chapter with something every cat owner can relate to. 
> 
> Also, Badgerclops is 1000% harder to write than Mao Mao. Hope ya'll like this chapter, it took longer than I would have liked to write. Hoping the next one comes out sooner. I THINK the next chapter will be shorter, maybe. It's honestly harder for me to write short chapters than it is long ones. 
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated, even if it's just noticing something wrong or to say "it's okay."


End file.
